I'm trying to catch up!

In case we get a book deal and the number of entries we write determine our pay cut, I am going to try to catch up to emoinacloset. Rawr! Here we go!!

Goals!

1) Get buff.
I suppose losing weight would go hand in hand with getting buff.


2) Try to grow something that looks like a beard.
I've always had kind of a weirdly hairy face. I mean guys usually get peach fuzz on the upper lip during puberty. Ya shave it off, and it come backs a little stubbly. Ya shave it off again, and it comes back more stubbly, and so on and so forth. I, on the other hand, got peach fuzz on my cheeks. It's very light, so you can't see it, but it is there.

I got really bored this past week, and I decided to start an experiment. I shaved off all my peach fuzz and waited for it to start growing back. A couple days later, upon caressing my cheeks multiple times, I felt some stubble. Give it four months of shaving, growing, and shaving again, and I might have myself a man-beard before I go back to college!

If I end up not finding myself by the end of my year off, at least I'll have a beard.

Sometimes, I sit at my desk and flex my face muscles. Wouldn't it be cool if my beard just started growing like a Playdoh spaghetti toy?


3) Pick up a sport.
I had to quit tennis years ago, because I have this thing called Trigger Finger Syndrome although many people have corrected me and said it was actually Carpel Tunnel. These "many people" are not doctors, mind you, so I still think it's Trigger Finger syndrome. Apparently, I gripped my racket handle very tightly during play, so I jacked my fingers up for life. My fingers are fine when I don't grip a racket, but the doctor said that if I continue to play tennis, I might lose full functionality of my fingers, and that's no fun.

So, tennis is out the window. Any suggestions?


4) Popping!
I've really wanted to pick up popping for a while now--5 years to be exact. I watch popping videos obsessively, but I haven't really been able to find good tutorials online, and I don't have a place to practice that has a big enough mirror.

I did try going to this one place over the summer. It got the best reviews on Yelp, and a lot of people said that the place was really receptive to beginners, so I went with my head held high.

The first day I went was the day I realized that I was totally out of place in the popping world. Of course, I'm speaking strictly about fashion. I showed up in my "let's get down and dirty" clothes, which happened to be my basketball shorts and tennis club shirt that day. Holy shit, did I get a lot of stares from people decked out in all that was "fresh and fly." I did my best to try to make nice with everyone, but it felt like they had me pegged as the "ugly duckling" as soon as they saw my tennis-playing ass step over the threshold.

Even after about three more sessions, I just felt too uncomfortable and too out there to continue. Yeah, I basically chickened out. I still want to learn though! I just don't want to have to be the huge elephant in the room TWICE (they have a huge mirror in there, and I am once again reminded of how ridiculous I look) while I do it.

Popping probably should have been at the top of this list.


5) I got the desperation bug.
Yeah, it's true. Some of muffinman's desperation has seemed to rub off on me as well. I'm starting to like girls that I normally wouldn't like. I've been without a relationship since college. It's been too long.

I don't really know how to get over this one, but I will try!


6) And last but not least, find myself. But yeah, what the hell does that mean?


-Robocop