Serendipitous Shirley Aftermath

The past few months all feel like a blur, I cannot believe it has been so long since my last real blog post.  If I briefly think about what I have done for the past month, nothing seems to stand out.  In fact, I would even say that it has been pretty monotonous and I have been operating on autopilot.  However, if I take a little more time to reflect, I realize there have been some exciting moments and that is why I blog!

Less than a month after Shirley left for SH, she blogged about spending the night with a guy she met at the club.  That blog post hit me pretty hard and kicked off a week where I started strongly reflecting on what I was doing with my life.  I realized I was day dreaming about Shirley coming back a little too much and in the process putting a lot of things in my life on hold.  After about a week of discussing what happened with various friends, I sent Shirley an email detailing how I felt.  This started an email chain where Shirley revealed she wrote the blog post to test how much I liked her, never had any romantic feelings for me and admitted to leading me on.

Needless to say, I felt like I had been played.  All the feelings I had for Shirley suddenly felt stupid and  thoughts about being in a relationship with her seemed like self delusions.  Feeling incredibly suckered, I told Shirley that we could not be friends.  Surprisingly, I don't have any ill feelings about burning that bridge, in fact, I don't feel much nor care at all, which is in itself a bit concerning.

Shirley has emailed me twice since I told her that we probably should not be friends anymore.  I am not sure what these emails say as I delete them straight away, but from what I can make out from the 50 character teaser, Shirley still wants to be friends.  Hopefully, she understands why that is not possible in this lifetime.    

-muffinman