Developing social skills

After sending in my internship application, it dawned on me how far I have come in terms of being able to communicate. It still surprises me whenever I am able to comfortably talk to someone the first time I meet them. Just last year I was terrible at making conversation with strangers and in high school I was not even able to talk to a stranger without sounding extremely awkward. It was so bad in middle school that apparently my mom thought I was autistic. And look how far I have come now!

At one of the UIS meet and greet events, I was able to approach and carry a conversation with strangers. Not to mention that I thought I did a pretty good job too. When I talk to people the words are just able to flow and tangents are easily drawn. I try to keep the conversation fairly equal but most of the time it ends up that I am listening and adding in comments. This is fine of course, but I think it highlights how people are always trying to find someone who is willing to listen and that there is a definite lack of it today.

It really hit me how social I was becoming when I began talking to my professors. First quarter of this year, I was incredibly awkward with my professor when I was in office hours. Now I am talking to professors left and right. I was even able to help network my medical anthropology professor Dr. H with the television station I am working at. Professors are the ones who are supposed to be connecting students with contacts, but here I was trying to arrange a shoot with Dr. H so that her work on PTSD could be recorded and heard. Things did not work out with Dr. H but in the end she connected the station to some other PTSD doctors and it all started because of me! Networking aside, Dr. H and I met up for coffee at Peet's off campus and just talked for two hours, quite a feat considering how terribly awkward it was for me to talk to my first anthropology professor just two quarters ago.

The best part about this whole transformation is that it is not just me that has noticed. While talking with my professor, Dr. P, about my upcoming presentation, he mentioned that I seemed like a confident person. In the back of my mind, I could not help but smile and think to myself "if only you new how little confidence I have." And that is the truth, in the end, all my confidence towards strangers is completely faked. I still dread talking to strangers and feel nervous before every single encounter with my professors. Before going to office hours, I need to mentally prep by going over what I am going to say over and over again before I can even begin to feel comfortable stepping into their office.

Basically, I fake it till I make it.
Surprisingly it is working!

-muffinman