Last night, Milan decided to be an ass again. Usually this is just another night at the apartment and I do not take it personally, but this time it involved my mom.
I was on the phone with my mom and Milan comes up and starts pretending to speak Chinese right next to me and loud enough so that my mom could hear it. I have told him not to do that in the past, yet here he is doing it again. After the phone call, I was very annoyed, so I talk to him about it yet again and more clearly this time tell him not to do that bullshit to my parents. He asked why and if it was because it was offensive, at which point I just got pissed and kneed him in the leg and walked away. Now I have a whiny apartment mate complaining about a dead leg.
Usually Milan mocking Chinese is not a big deal and though annoying, I do not make a big deal about it. We are all pretty offensive to each other around the apartment and cultural insensitivity is not an offensive topic to any of us. However, I do have a problem with it when it involves my parents. I believe that my parents deserve respect and should not be exposed to anything that would be offensive to them, especially about something as important to them as their culture. I most definitely show the same respect to all other parents and elders. Not sure why Milan cannot understand that though, maybe he needs me to spell it out like what I am doing in this post.
Surprisingly, he is not the only one with that opinion. When I talked to our mutual friend, Ashley L. about it, I was shocked that she thought I was over reacting and that it was not a big deal. She simply does not understand why it bothers me so much, and thinks Milan meant no harm (true) and I should just take it in stride. Apparently, she does not think her parents would be bothered by it if they heard one of her friends mocking Korean, which I highly doubt, but she knows her own parents better than I do. I found it ironic that she could not understand how this incident was just as offensive to me as the time Milan mocked Christianity to her face. Ashley believes that it is just a cultural difference that leads Milan to not be able understand the gravity of the situation. Though I always thought Western culture emphasized respect for elders as well?
In the morning, I talked to Kevin about it and he also agreed that it crosses the line which leads me to my question to all of you.
Do you think this is not a big deal and that I am just over reacting? Is this really not a big deal?
- muffinman
9 COMMENTS:
I'm sure my mom wouldn't appreciate it. She'd be like, "Who was that?" and form bad opinions in her head thereafter.
- Rosie, your long lost superior elder, harhar
J, I believe that you were right on and he deserved to be kicked. I believe a lot of us are brought up to respect our elders and our parents, and it worldly rude of them to interfere with you on the phone-especially with your parents.
All of my friends respect me on the phone with my parents and family members... Either my friends stay quiet or I leave the room and talk on the phone. It's usually short and quick though. I immediately stay quiet when someone gets the call.... until I found out it's a close friends than I'll decide if it will be appropriate to make animal noises in the background...
It's not the mocking of the language in the background is the offensive part, it's the courtesy that you could have given to your friend and his/her parents when they are on the phone. I don't know what's wrong with your friends...
I would slapped his phone out of his hand when it's talking to his parents--that's the same respect he has given to you.
dude my mom is one of the most chill moms i know, and she would be offended by that. even if me and my brothers joke around about OTHER languages, she doesnt like it. its definitely not appropriate to do that. cause honestly, yeah, you dont want your parents to see/hear that kind of thing. its like, if my friends came over and started talking about obscenely offensive things and were being vulgar in front of my mom, i would hate it. absolutely hate it.
i think milan is being pretty dumb and ignorant. (doesnt he like, cry when you make serbian jokes?) why doesnt he at least respect you and your mom when your on the phone? honestly, its not that hard. or he could just do chinese impressions in his room. dude, at a certain point its just plain ignorance and racist.
i cant believe ashley thinks its whatevers. even if milan "meant no harm," its still extremely rude and especially since you told him not to do it. just because he might not have purely evil intentions doesnt give him an excuse to do anything and everything.
I am glad people agree with me here. Glad to know that I am still chill.
- muffinman
Kneeing him in the leg was weaksauce. "No groin, no krav maga!" :P
But all kidding aside (wasn't really kidding though), Milan probably shouldn't have done that if it was your parents. If I were you, I would've been laughing at his attempts to speak a garbled form of Chinese, but if my parents heard it...they would be VERY offended. It's only funny when parents aren't involved.
I don't really blame Milan, though. There is a pretty big culture difference for this type of stuff. For example, when you were talking about how Milan was mocking Christianity to Ashley's face, I don't see that as bad as mocking someone's native language to their parents. Obviously, other people would have a different view. They could be totally offended from having their religion mocked, or they could laugh about it. (My Jewish friend tells me Jew jokes, and I tell her Asian jokes...and Jew jokes too- but she laughs at it!! a LOT.) :P
It's all in the point of view.
i'm sorry everyone that i didnt feel the same way as sir muffinman here. but i do understand where he is coming from. it's just i'm not a person you should seek if you want to complain about our mutual friends. he did ask if it was offensive.. and i'm sure he respects you and your parents and wont do it again if you do tell him that it was offensive (instead of you just kicking him on the knee) well, at least that is the milan that i know. he did mock christianity to my face once and i did tell him that it was mean. he apologized and has never done that again.
jonathan this is silly. it is silly that you are blogging about people. at least have a little courtesy to censor out his name.. haha these kinds of blogs influence others' view on people without even knowing them.. just sayin.
@Katrina: Racist jokes are fine for me when directed at me but I mean who thinks its ok to tell a racist joke to a parent?
@Ashley: That's great that you got an apology Ashley because this is definitely not the first time he has done it. And there has never been an apology. I also highly doubt he was going to apologize last night, though I concede I really did not give him time to after his reply.
sorry ashley, not trying to hate on you or anything. i was just surprised that someone wouldnt find that offensive. but yeah, then again, we're definitely on different pages here cause i dont understand how your 'mutual friends' thing works with whether something said/done is appropriate or not.
opinions aside, jon had previously already told milan not to do that when he was on the phone with his mom.
good that milan apologized to you for the Christian jokes, i heard they were so bad they werent even funny :/
muffinman, you probably havent received an apology because he doesnt have a crush on you.
haha it's all good sarah :)
how are you doing? I'M GOING TO FACEBOOK FRIEND YOU!
Post a Comment