Monday, August 31, 2009

Back to square 1

While emoinacloset was crying in his pillow and boarding his flight, muffinman was dealing with his own set of issues...

Coming off another hard night of drinking alone (I have great scotch and technically I was not alone Ashley was watching), I woke up feeling better but nonetheless lonely. I believe Robocop and Emoinacloset are right about my growing dependence and if it is not growing it is definitely regaining strength.

The root of the problem seems to be my lack of a relationship. I miss the cuddling, love and that inexplicable warmth that comes with knowing that you have someone. It seems that all my problems could be solved by finding that someone, but I am asking for too much?

My friends know that I have been looking into a few interests this summer and that so far none of them have really gone anywhere. Well tonight, you can add another one to the "just friends list." After talking to her for quite awhile I have come to the conclusion that this girl is simply not right for me and that perhaps my interest in her before came forth more from desperation than attraction. I need someone who is more caring and attentive and definitely less obnoxious. The fact that I had known all of this before and was still pursuing her is worrying as it shows my desperation. The last thing I want is to find myself falling for someone out of desperation.

I am back now to square one with zero interests and wondering when I am going to find that one elusive girl. In my crisis while writing this post, I have begun yelling at Angela to stay on the phone with me because I do not want to be alone. I only let her off the phone when she bribed me with a cup of coffee (my weakness?). Yes, I have reached that point, be very disappointed in me because I am disappointed in myself. When did I ever become so dependent?

Basically I hella need a girlfriend because cuddling with stuffed animals is just not cutting it.
Isn't someone supposed to save you when you hit rock bottom? Or do I have to start digging?

Emoinacloset I hope you are having better luck than me at NYU.

-muffinman

7 COMMENTS:

sarahyangg said...

hope you meet the girl soon!

James said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
James said...

I think you're just horny.

Unknown said...

fleshlight. stop drinking for no reason. if you were really depressed ashley wouldnt be there. so stop fake depressioning

x0ashley said...

I agree with Eric, stop fake depression-ing and stop being the only one who's drinking in the room. GAHH. I don't know how many times I have to tell you, but YOU CAN BE FINE(and happy!) WITHOUT A GIRLFRIEND. I'm not sure if that'll ever stick into your brain, but I hope it will soon. Stop worrying about having a girlfriend so much and just try to distract yourself from missing the physical intimacy. Don't make it worse by cuddling with people just because it feels nice.

And I hope that you actually remember this!!!... "The last thing I want is to find myself falling for someone out of desperation."

I still don't want to hear crazy stories of anything happening during the almost-week that I'm gone. It's not thaatt long, I promise. :P
x0x0-ashley

Life After ARC said...

psh I never said I was depressed I just said I was desperate. Stop putting words in my post

-muffinman

Unknown said...

who is this about? have you told me about this? if you haven't.. why?? i want to knoww

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