You can never have enough money

Come Friday, I will have over $10,000 in my bank account. I have never been worth more in my life and it's just the beginning.

It is hard to imagine that I first came to San Francisco on a $1,750 per month salary. It's hard to even think I survived off my $30,000 full time salary. I wonder how I ever made ends meet in those days.

However, with more money comes more problems. My $80,000 salary though much, much higher than I ever hoped to make straight out of school feels inadequate. This is partly because I am in constant fear of losing my job and as a result am trying to save as much money as possible for unemployment. However, no amount I save seems enough and the thought of not have $10K in my bank account is depressing. Sometimes, I think I am collecting money for the sake of it, as if those ever increasing numbers on my ATM receipt are all that I need in the world.

The other half of the equation is just that it really just does not feel like enough money! When you have developer friends that make six figures, your high salary suddenly doesn't feel that high anymore. In fact, it feels downright inadequate. Never mind that $80K is more than the median household income in the United States (hint, that's with TWO people working under one roof).

The funny thing is, as much as I want more money, I have no idea what I would do with it. Already, I am having problems spending more than half of my current salary. The problem is that I still have this mentality of earning $30K a year and as a result I still try to keep all my meals around $10. I have splurged twice on meals and drinks over the last two weeks, but that doesn't seem like it is going to be trend. I have a sudden interest in purchasing non-Ikea furniture, but I still balk at price tags that exceed $200. All in all, I am still pretty frugal as half of my salary goes to savings. So why am I so obsessed about getting more money?

I told my friend Linda when I got laid off that all I wanted to do was make a lot of money, then I would be set and could enjoy life. I told her that I was tired of being broke and that making a lot would change everything. Well, it turns out when the first paycheck hit my bank account, my world wasn't turned upside down, it didn't make me happy and worst of all, I was still worrying about money.

This has led me to ask if there a magic amount that I can earn that will let me stop worrying about money? I want "fuck you" money so that I can focus on other things in my life.

I hope this is the right way to think about life.

-muffinman

Dipping My Toes into Online Dating

I finally gave in! Last week, I dipped my toes into online dating.

Bouncing from much too old (Jeanni) to much too young (Shirley, Cathy), I have decided that it might be time to turn to tech for some help.

Certainly, San Francisco seems like the perfect city to do it in. Everybody that I know seems to have successfully found their significant other on OkCupid. Hell, I know somebody who has even gotten engaged from off of OkCupid, and they seem like a lovely couple. Any of my notions that online dating is just for hopeless 30+ year old loners, does not exist here. In fact, online dating seems to be the preferred method of dating in the city for all ages.

If you can't beat em, join em.

However, I haven't totally gotten on the OkCupid train. It is just too big of a step for me right now, since the profile is too long and it seems you have to aggressively message others in order to experience any success.

Instead, I have been messing with Tinder, a very shallow app where you are shown pictures of women located near you. All I have to do is swipe right to "Accept" and if the girl also accepts me then a match is made and we can begin messaging. I have had five matches so far, but have not messaged any of them. Partly because everybody I know that uses Tinder just messes around with it. My coworker told me Tinder is where he A/B tests his pick up lines. Tinder is probably not the best place to find a significant other, but it is still a great way to pass the time and it's a nice ego boost to see that there are girls that "like" me.

More seriously, I created a profile on CoffeeMeetsBagel.com, a dating site that has been making some noise in the startup community. The concept is simple, you get one match a day and either you like or pass on your match. If both of you like each other, then texts are sent and you can start having a conversation.  Hilariously, for my first match, I was given a guy! Turns out, while lazily filling out my profile I had selected  seeking a male. Setting it to seeking female meant that the next day I did not get a match due to a gender imbalance on the site. Since the initial mismatch, I've had two matches with girls, but needless to say, they went nowhere.

Maybe, I'll have better luck next week. Keep you all posted.

-muffinman

Resurrection

You might have thought LifeAfterARC was dead, and you would have been right. For a while, I did not think I would get back to writing about my personal life. I thought I had moved beyond it, this blog was a relic of a younger life. When you are grown up and  working 60+ hours a week and viewing everything not helping the bottom line as a waste of time, blogging just does not seem to make sense.

However, what I am realizing now is that the personal is inseparable from the professional. The lack of personal understanding is very negatively affecting my well being and as a result my work. I've tried to be the robot/model employee that just buries myself into work to stop feeling, but it has just resulted in part of me dying inside.

That is why I am going to resurrect the blog today, in the hopes it will also breathe new life into me.

In addition to actually taking the time to blog each week, there's going to be a few changes in the format. Posts will be shorter and more concise, as well focused around just one subject. Gone are the days of long posts covering multiple subject matters, I will just break those up into separate posts now. Long posts will be reserved for particularly drawn out and dramatic events.

-muffinman

LA Road Trip Reflections

I started this blog post out as a recap of events in LA, but I quickly got bored writing it.  I think a reflection of last week's events is much more appropriate for this blog.

Surprising Robocop was a great idea

Despite what the doubters like Eric say surprising Robocop in LA was a great idea.  Of course, it would have been more awesome had Robocop been home when I dropped by his apartment and also if his girlfriend had not tipped him off.  I think my ability to do things on a whim and pop out of nowhere are one of my more endearing and unique qualities.  Robocop was genuinely surprised and I believe the time we spent together on this trip will be remembered for the rest of our lives.  I can see ourselves talking about it in the future with our kids and family about that one time I randomly came down to LA.

I really love driving

This was the first time in a long time that I drove everyday and I really loved every minute of it.  As great as public transportation is, it just cannot beat the freedom and independence of a car.  I love the peace that driving gives me and I hope that I will be able to afford a car in San Francisco in the near future.

Deeply concerned for Robocop's future

When I met Robocop, he was very happy and enthusiastic.  In fact, Robocop was so uncharacteristically energetic that it struck me as strange almost as if he was over compensating for his lack of energy in the recent past.  During dinner, I was really shocked when Robocop had feinted an outburst towards the waiter.  Similar outbursts continued for the rest of the week and I am not sure what to think of them.

Robocop had a lot of breakthroughs while I was in LA.  He started vlogging and has even declared that he has found out what he wants to do with his life.  I really wish the best for him, but I cannot help but think that I have seen this before.  There were a few instances over the last five years where Robocop looked like he had everything figured out and on track to achieving his dreams.  A few months later Emoinacloset and I would hear nothing from him and be unable to reach him.  When Robocop finally did respond we would learn that he had lapsed back into depression. The cycles have been a really extremely heart wrenching and frustrating for Emoinacloset and me; and I really hope that this time happy Robocop is here to stay.       

Aside the happiness and energy that Robocop displayed, there were two very concerning things I learned about him during my time in LA.  After admitting that living with his now ex-girlfriend was a huge mistake, Robocop has decided to continue living with her so she won't have to go through the breakup alone.  That to me seems to defeat the whole point of a break up.  Furthermore, it seems that Robocop's depression has severely impacted his academics.  In the past, no matter how bad things got Robocop still managed to keep his grades up, however, that no longer seems to be the case.  

LA's food trucks are infinitely better than SF's

LA's food trucks are just more creative, tasty and all around amazing than what we have in SF.

Visiting friends is a blast
When I started to think about it, it was mind boggling how many friends I had in LA that I wanted to see.  It was even more mind boggling the variety of places and phases of my life that these friends came from.  For me, one of the most exhilarating things is seeing someone I met halfway across the world again and I got to do that with Chinglee.  Considering how Chinglee stopped talking to me in SH because I was too "clingy" makes the meeting seem even more improbable.

The LA trip has made me want to travel, especially to Singapore where many friends that I have not seen in years reside.  I told Eric that two years from now Robocop, Emoinacloset and I should go and meet up in New Orleans.  Now that sounds like another trip I will remember for the rest of my life.    

Money buys freedom

This whole trip would not have been possible without me getting a new job with a huge pay raise.  It is true that money cannot buy happiness, but it certainly buys you the freedom to pursue it.  I really consider myself lucky for everything to work out this way.  Less than a month ago, I was laid off, angry and only had enough money for 2 months rent.  It's nothing short of a miracle that I was able to afford this trip in such a short time. I swear I will give it my all to ensure that I can have further trips like it in the future.  

-muffinman