There might be some explaining to do after tonight. Friends might be wondering how I ended up at a Celine Dion playing bar by myself sipping an overly expensive whiskey sour while writing this. Especially, since I had come to the French Concession with these friends with the intention of going clubbing and sticking together.
I had never planned to go clubbing tonight. I had originally turned down the invitation, like I always do, and intended on spending the night celebrating Diwali with the Indians. However, Diwali celebrations were cut short when Varun no longer wanted to go to Helen’s, a bar. My UC friends, offered a plan B, which was to go clubbing, without really having to go clubbing. Nick told me that the venue that they were going to had a lounge element to it, which sounded like a great idea. However, while waiting for everyone to get ready, cracks in the plan B started to show. It began with the talk of going to a different venue that was entirely a club. Then, Nick started to get very fuzzy over his description of the original venue, not being entirely sure how much of a lounge it really was.
No surprise then that throughout the time that I was waiting for everyone to gather, I was expressing doubts about going. Each time, however, I was talked into going by either Linda or Nick and for awhile I thought I would actually be able to go. The venue was changed at the last minute to Soho and when I arrived and heard the bass of the club, familiar feelings of dread began to arise. I felt myself begin to shut down again like I had at senior ball, so I asked Linda to walk with me and help me find some liquid courage. Unfortunately, there was no bar in sight and when Linda suggested we walk back, I took a few steps back towards the club and realized that there really was no way I could go back. Linda tried her best to convince me to walk back, but I told her that everybody has something that they just cannot do, and clubbing was that thing for me. I followed up by telling her that I did not want to ruin her night and that she should not worry about me and with that Linda gave up and walked back towards the club.
After Linda left, I ended up walking around the area and exploring a little. At one point, I noticed a bar and restaurant playing soft music, which was a sharp contrast to the loud bass heavy music coming from all the other venues. It also helped that it was on a quiet street away from everything else. I took note of it the first time I passed it and continued my exploring. When I got tired of being accosted by black taxi drivers and men pushing what I thought were prostitutes, I made my way back to the Van Gogh bar. I must have been a curious sight to the wait staff, sitting at a table alone drinking a whiskey sour while scribbling in my notebook. The atmosphere at the bar was extremely relaxing and I would have stayed longer and ordered a glass of wine had the waiter not told me that they closed at 1am and when I asked it was 2am.
I left the bar and once again wondered what now? Deciding it was still way too early to go back and determined not to waste my taxi fare coming here, I began walking to Xintiandi, another night life area. The only problem was that I did not have a map but I managed to find a subway station and by using my subway map, I determined that I needed to walk North-East to get to Xintiandi. In my mind, I half doubted that I would succeed in getting there and I figured that I would just hail a cab home once I got tired of being lost.
The hour long walk to Xintiandi was an experience in of itself. The French concession is an extremely old neighborhood with rows of trees lining the streets, which meant that often times I found myself walking in very dimly lit streets. Thankfully, I had my Emerson on me at the time to give me confidence and I was able to make it all the way to Xintiandi with no trouble at all. Many times, I wished I had brought my camera because I just wanted to capture the creepy feeling of being alone on a dark and deserted street surrounded by old and sometimes crumbling buildings.
Xintiandi was closed by the time I got there and my hopes of grabbing another drink were dashed at 3am. Finally deciding that I had done enough exploring, I grabbed a cab and headed home.
With that story, there are some apologies and one thank you to be said. Sorry to everyone for walking away without any warning, though I know at the end of the night you all had fun and I was the last thing on your mind. Sorry to Linda for putting you on the spot and making you walk back to the club by yourself. Sorry to Lu for not wishing you a happy birthday and leaving your event without saying goodbye.
Thank you Crystal for caring enough to call and text to see if I was doing alright and then checking up on me at the end of the night, even if it was out of annoyance that I had left without telling you. Sorry for not telling you that I was leaving, I know you expected me to at least say something to you if I was to tell anybody at all. Also sorry for not being able to promise that I will not do this again, you must understand, I am just difficult like that.
-muffinman
