Robocop, where the fuck are you?!

Two weeks ago, I was looking on Robocop's facebook wall and saw Jennie's wall post:

"...your phone has been off for the past week. i sense a relapse into old Robocop. i'm planning spring break plans and i'm thinking of going home, but all my returning flights to boston are around 11:30PM. The commuter rail back to providence stops so i'm kinda stranded. can you take me in sat night?"

Interested and somewhat concerned, I called Robocop and sure enough his phone was off. I kept trying for the next week and every single time I went straight to voice mail.

Flash forward now to today, my first day of spring break. At noon I called Robocop's house phone but I just got the beep every time and after just one ring. I vaguely remembered that this was normal so I did not think much of it.

Later, I decide to head over to his house, because nothing solves a missing person case like a surprise visit to their home. Imagine my surprise when I pull up to Robocop's house and see a sold sign on his lawn. The feeling of WHAT THE FUCK only increased when I called his house phone again and this time listened to the message past the beep, "the number you have called has been disconnected." After hearing that I could not help but yell out a loud "WHAT" in disbelief.

A group of neighbors were on the sidewalk and I approached them trying to make sense of what was going on. Turns out the house was sold last month, which was even more of a shocker. One of the neighbors offered to give Robocop's father a call to find out where he was, so I gave the neighbor my number and left.

Terribly confused and trying to wrap my mind around the situation, I went over to my friend Eric's house. He was chatting with Emoinacloset when I arrived. After hearing from me on facebook that Robocop's house had been sold, Emoinacloset immediately stalked out Robocop's sister's facebook and from the posts that he read, it looks like Robocop is moving to Saratoga, a town 15 minutes away. Thank god for social networks.

Robocop, where ever the fuck you are hurry up and contact me because I am getting tired of tracking your ass down. The longer and more effort this search takes, the more I am going to beat the shit out of you. You cannot just drop off the face of the earth for 3 plus weeks and move without telling any of your friends.

-muffinman