Entering the Belly of the Beast

I wrote most of this entry while I was on my flight. I mean, seriously, on a five hour flight, what else am I going to do? It’s not like I can just play ejaculation rocketship in the cabin and kill some time – I didn’t have enough elbow room. I require a full arm swing to get myself off, so that wasn’t an option.

Let me start with the goodbyes. It was my last day home, and the last time I would see my friends for a very long time. There were many tears, and much embracing as I left to go to college. We hugged it out like only real men can. I told Muffinman he’d never find someone as interesting as I am; Robocop he was really going to regret not coming to New York to visit me; Josh to not hurt himself so much; and Eric to stop being so whipped. Good advice was exchanged between men that day, although Josh seems hell-bent on hurting himself again.

After a final farewell, I started packing unenthusiastically. After all, who looks forward to stuffing your whole life into two suitcases? I was packing well into the night when I told myself it would be a great idea to get a little bit of sleep before I finished packing. My seven am flight was at SFO, meaning I would have to leave the house at around 5am. It was one in the morning.
4:30 AM:

“Fail,” my dad said as he came in my room to wake me up. I snapped awake and rushed to finish packing under the glare of an incredulous parent. Fortunately, my bedroom window was wide open so he couldn’t yell at me for procrastinating so ridiculously (Note to self: good tactic in times of distress) but we hurriedly packed and made it to the airport with more than enough time to spare. They don’t call me the God of Procrastination for nothing.

I got on the airplane without too much fanfare – after all, it was pretty early in the morning, can’t expect a parade from my fans – and left my parents with hugs and kisses. There was none of that wailing and intense sobbing like you see in those Korean dramas; just a bit of nagging before I boarded the plane, which I was incredibly thankful for (the “just a bit part”, not the nagging).

I walked in the airplane expecting normal florescent lights lighting the plane only to find the inside was lit up like a cheap strip club with violet and magenta lights illuminating the cabin. The trance music during the takeoff and landing only made it worse; it was the type of music you might find in a bad porno.

However, this was the first time I’d ever flown with Virgin America and I was amazed at all the features they had on board. For one thing, they had a cartoon safety video worth paying attention to, compared to the standard flight attendant demonstration they usually have on normal flights. They also had a touch screen based entertainment system which was really fun to play with. I think I was playing around with it for a good hour of the flight, but I was dismayed to find a poor selection of black music so Virgin gets a big fat thumbs down for that one.

I was also amazed to find a power outlet right under my seat, but I was more amazed that my laptop wasn’t compatible with it. Like, seriously? Way to tease me and string me along like that you fucking whore spaceship I hope you die filled with shame from the pain you’ve caused me. Just don’t die with me in it. And not with other people in it too, that would be bad also. To make matters worse, I realized I had forgotten to bring my iPod back to school. That’s like, the equivalent of accidently leaving your first-born child in the car on a hot summer day. Forget homesickness, forget starvation, and forget “important things” like classes, jobs, and other adult-y responsible stuff – I don’t know how I’ll be able to survive a whole semester without my iPod.

But other than that, my flight was good. Honestly I still can’t believe I’m in New York right now, sitting in my dorm writing this. Even when I was walking around, I kept forgetting to jaywalk like I’m supposed to. Not used to it again I suppose. Everything seems so new, yet so familiar at the same time. I’m sharing a room with a person that I met for the first time today and there's no food in the refrigerator. Life is good.

-Emoinacloset